Autobiography · Poetry

Words from my mother, when I was fifteen

Look at the spots on your great greasy face
Look at those huge rolls of fat
You think you deserve a nice, pretty dress?
No you don’t, not looking like that.

How dare you protest, I’m your mother!
I’ll call you whatever I choose
Hypersensitive, plain and obnoxious
Now, I think I’ll go out for new shoes.

You’ll do what I tell you, my girl
You’ll endure all my cruel mocking jeers
I’ll keep you bowed down and uncertain
For at least the next twenty years.

One day you may look back in anger
One day you may cut toxic ties
But not yet, so I’ll carry on taunting
And enjoy the tears in your eyes.

 


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17 thoughts on “Words from my mother, when I was fifteen

    1. Thank you, Lynette xxx Yes, there’s a huge streak of sadism in her narcissism – she would literally laugh in my face when she upset me. I’m free of her now, thank goodness. Writing about it is healing as well.

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      1. Unfortunately, I’m all too familiar with the streak of narcissists sadism. Yes, writing about is healing, and having a blogging community of fellow ACONs (adult children of narcissists).

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  1. Hello,
    I am so sorry you had an abusive mother. I agree writing is therapeutic. You actually made me realize how close Mother’s Day is. Two months goes fast.
    I met you at Jason’s blog party. Maybe you can check out my blog. I help bloggers at my site. I also have blog parties like Jason where you could meet new readers.
    Janice

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  2. No kid should have to go through this, but anyone who’s been through narcissistic abuse knows it’s entirely possible, and probably far more common than we’d like to believe. There’s a saying about narcissists or covertly aggressive people: street angels, home devils. So on top of the abuse, there’s isolation, ’cause you know you have no one to talk to about these things, people just won’t believe you because the narcissist is so very skilled at manipulating people’s impressions. Have you read the book “Writing As A Way of Healing”, by Louise DeSalvo?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Street angels, home devils is so true – my mother was careful not to show the full extent of her cruelty in public. And the isolation is hard when you hear others talk about their wonderful mothers. You realise what you missed – still miss.

      Thank you for the book recommendation – it sounds excellent – I’ve ordered it.

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  3. Sounds like my mom somewhat. She always made fun of my weight like it was funny. It was never funny to me. She always made me feel like I looked wrong that I still feel like I do sometimes even at age 31 with about 40 ilbs now off.

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